Well I've been sick. I think I may have had H1N1, coughing fever, horrible headaches(though I get those all the time) and the like. So I'm bored. I did watch all of Ouran High School Host, which is very amusing, I'm a Tamaki/Haruhi fangirl now. Seriously don't watch 6 hours of this show in one day. It gives you odd dreams. Ok, enough with my rambling.

I want to do some TRADES! I will only have five open slots so I can make sure they will get done before Thanksgiving. The catch is for you, if you are interested, is to draw one of my Nebula Senshi in return. Check out my Nebula gallery and pick one of my girls.

What will I do in return? Well I'll draw any o/c character of yours. Whether they are from the Sailormoon fandom or not. I can draw guys and girls, in fact I find Males easier. I love unique looks, hairstyles and tend to do odd action like poses. All of these will be done traditionally as I'm trying to improve coloring with my prismacolor pencils. This will not be done on a first come, first serve basis. Hopefully five people will reply back.

Anyways done reading and still interested? Just tell me a little of their personality, show me their image and tell me which of my Nebula Senshi you are interested in return. That's it! Thanks!

TRADING:
1. Skra//Sailor Veil (Sketch is done)
2. Rozen Madien O/C // Sailor Trifid
3. Sailor Cerebus// Sailor Lagoon
4.
5.

So today I was in doing a group activity (I hate working in groups...it stresses me out) when we were all asked this one question. "Who in history are you most like?" Now I love history, but for the life of me I can't think of who is like me. Some people said George Washington, Abe Lincoln, Bo Pelini(ok if you don't live in Nebraska, then you ain't going to know who he is...) Bugs Bunny...ect. When it came to me, I said one of my fave heros, Amelia Earhart. I said I'm not really like her at all but want to be unique, strong and independent like her. I love the fact she had such a free spirit and wanted to prove herself to the world that women can be much more than what is perceived by the norm.

I started thinking that I really haven't done much with my life, nothing that anyone would remember me by. Not that I want to be famous, but if I died today, people would just remember me as the quiet shy, nice person and move on with their lives. I would be just a fleeting memory. I want to do good in the world, and I do try hard, but still I feel like I haven't really accomplished much. It's very depressing to think about really.

So back to original topic, who in history am I like? In the fandom world I tend to think I'm a strange mesh of Frodo Baggins(LOTR) and Sophie Hatter(Howl's Moving Castle). As for a real indiviual, I can't pick anyone, because there isn't really anyone like me. That thought gives me comfort and at least I know that I'm unique in that way. Reminds me of a little piece of philosphy I was told recently, "Men and women were put on this Earth for one reason, the hard part is to figure out what that is." I'm at that point, and hopefully I'll found out. Until then I'll try to get out of this depression funk I'm in....

People deal with grief in different ways. I guess my way is to try to resume my normal life. I'm not doing that though. I've been doing anything to keep myself occupied. From work/school and everything in-between I've been really doing a whole lot. That also includes my art, writing and anything to remain busy and not to think. I know it's not healthy and it is just my way to cope... I come up with projects and try to get them done so fast, and then pewter out just as quickly, I feel exhausted and utterly empty. It's really draining.

The day before my friends wake, I saw a rainbow in the sky. It was such a nice positive thing to see...I kept thinking of that at her wake, and ending up crying so hard... Her funeral was tough. I really thought it was a nice theme, celebration of life. When I die, I want mine to be like that. No, I'm not suicidal or anything, I just really depressed. That is why I've been so active in my day to day life. I have good friends and family who are always there for me. It has been such a rough year, from last year when my grandmother died on my birthday, to my dad losing his job and parents going into bankruptcy and now one of my friends is gone, out of the blue.

So yea, I'm in a rough patch right now. I'm trying to act normal and not to think of it too much. I've been in a drawing fit and a writing frenzy. My little Nebula story really helps me not to focus on anything and it is now at 100 pages. I wrote two chapters in the last two weeks (this is bizarre for me I don't focus easily.) I don't sleep at night, and I've been getting horrible headaches. Stress sucks. I need some chocolate and a funny show to watch now...

I learned today that a friend of mine has passed away. This is such a shock to me. I just saw her Monday morning and now...she is gone.

Her sister hadn't heard from her for a day and kicked down her door to her apartment and they found her dead. This is just shocking. I knew she had recovered from a UTI recently as she was asking me about her antibiotic they put her on. On Monday though, she was extremely pale and said she felt horrible...she said she made a doctors appt for Tuesday....

Why do things like this happen? She was a great person, sweet, kind, I always asked her for advice and her opinions...and now she's gone. This is just shocking....I can't comprended that I won't see her again...

Well I'm back from my vacation and it was awesome!! I love nature...it is so inspiring! I went to yellowstone with my family and saw buffalo, elk, and even bears (from a distance of course). My negative mood has left me. My sister even got great news yesterday, no more issues with finacial aid for her last year of college!! Whooo! <3

I've been sketching more and writing more on my little nebula senshi story. I've also been well just happier, doing things that I haven't done in years. Got a nice modest haircut, new purse..ect. I feel like I'm out of a dark fog! My mom and I are having a birthday coming up, and though I broke the bank, I know she'll love the gift I got her!! So currently things are looking up, perhaps it is July? It is my fave month after all.

Btw, please check out journal and help Glory out if you can! <3